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Vampires Suck

Vampires Suck (2010) – Rated PG-13 for crude sexual content, comic violence, language, and teen partying.

Vampires Suck is yet another spoof movie from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.  To give you an idea of how bad this film is, consider their other spoofs: Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet The Spartans, and Disaster Movie.  Now before you start thinking I’m just going to bash on all spoof movies simply because they are merely parodies, let me tell you that I do believe there is such a thing as a good spoof.  The best spoofs are homages to their predecessors and end up being great on their own because of it.  An example that immediately comes to mind is This Is Spinal Tap, among many others that I will not mention (that might turn into another post!).  My point is, Friedberg and Seltzer have been responsible for some of the worst parodies in recent memory and Vampires Suck is no exception. 

If you’re a frequent reader then you’ll recall my review of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse and how I ripped it apart.  Knowing this you’d think that a film that basically makes fun of how stupid these films are would satisfy a non Twi-hard.  You would be wrong.  The film follows the entire Bella/Edward/Jacob love triangle story with a few jokes thrown in.  Sure I laughed at some parts but it wasn’t nearly enough laughter to call this film a decent comedy.  A lot of the time I was laughing at how good Jenn Proske made fun of the horrible Kristen Stewart.  She had the lip biting, awkwardness, mumbling, and hair tugging down pat!  And the way she and Matt Lanter perfectly parodied how serious Stewart and Robert Pattinson always are was hilarious.  The brooding stares, the “serious” acting…they got it all!  This was unfortunately not enough to make this film any good.  It is a short film (around 86 minutes, to be exact) and yet I still found myself wanting to glance down at my watch to see how much longer I’d be stuck in the theater.

I know this will probably be a cliché in many a film critic’s review of this film but, quite frankly, Vampires Suck sucked.  Filmtastic review = 1 1/2 stars.

  1. Beli
    August 24, 2010 at 4:01 am

    Yes Kym I am going to comment and yes I liked this movie. Granted it was not the best funny movie ever but it was worth a one time watch. I didnt see but one trailer and the buffy thing was funny as hell. The chorus line was even funny. I was laughing at this movie. I know most of the other movies sucked (get it-ok its lame) but this one was funny and I am a twi fan. Ok I just love to laugh and no it was not funny all the time but come on it was funny!! Again I only saw one trailer and only the one time so I didnt really know what to expect. At least 2 stars or 2 1/4?

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