Takers

Takers (2010) – Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, a sexual situation/partial nudity and language.

When one thinks of what exactly a heist film is, Takers pretty much fits the bill.  First you must formulate a plan and prepare accordingly.  Check.  Next, you must carry out this plan successfully.  Check.  Lastly, you find out that one of them is a nemesis and most of the crew ends up dead and/or caught by the police.  Check.  It’s safe to say that Takers won’t be taking home any awards for originality, however this doesn’t mean that it isn’t an enjoyable movie.  Is it anywhere in the leagues of Heat, Reservoir Dogs, Ocean’s Eleven, or even (dare I say it) Inception?  Not even close.  But it also isn’t as bad as, oh I don’t know, 3000 Miles To Graceland or (gulp) Reindeer Games.  The fact of the matter is that Hollywood can’t really change-up this formula but the appeal to audiences is still there.

This film is probably not going to be a critical darling, especially for the acting.  The players here are Paul Walker (meh), Idris Elba (good actor, bad films), Hayden Christensen (oh, where do I begin?), Michael Ealy (at least he’s got pretty eyes), Chris Brown (should stick to dancing) and Tip “T.I.” Harris (he’s an actor now?).  Just looking at the main actors should let you know that you aren’t going to be watching any Oscar-worthy performances here.  The guys don’t do bad jobs, they just aren’t really good either.  And can someone please tell me why Paul Walker had to have a gratuitous ass-shot in the movie?  Was that really necessary?  The answer is no. 

The story is, for the most part, easy to follow.  Somewhere towards the end, though, the story kind of loses the audience.  Picture this, the heist is done and all the men meet in a hotel room to count their money.  Then, somewhere along the lines, two of the men end up at a bar crying over a lover’s death.  When did this happen?  How did they get there?  But that’s to be expected from a bunch of writers that count this as their first writing credit.  Aside from this the story is interesting and the twists keep you on your toes.

Something has to be said about the music.  No, I’m not about to say that it’s awesome and everyone should go buy the soundtrack.  As a matter of fact, they played the exact same song over two different scenes and I found myself rolling my eyes at the cheesiness.  When you watch the film, you’ll see what I mean.  And the editing is kind of inconsistent, but it is nowhere near the worst that I’ve seen (I’m looking at you, Jonah Hex!).  To conclude, this isn’t a great film by any definition.  There’s definitely a reason why it was pushed from a May release date to the depths of August.  But, if you’re looking to escape this ridiculous heat and not think about much, then this film just might be for you.  Filmtastic review = 3 stars.

The Expendables

The Expendables (2010) – Rated R for strong action and bloody violence throughout, and for some language.

Have you ever wondered how much machismo and testosterone one can put into a single film and turn it into the ultimate celebration of everything men loved about 80s action movies?  Well The Expendables is that over-the-top answer and the only man who could have achieved this is Sylvester Stallone, a star in many of those 80s action films.  It is only he who could have put together this incredibly talented cast of action heroes like Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Terry Crews, and Mickey Rourke.  These men are doing what they do best in movies: kicking ass and taking names and having one hell of a time doing it.  If you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into just by watching the trailer alone, you might be disappointed if you’re looking for actual character development and a story that isn’t more shallow than a teaspoon.  But if you walk into this knowing that you will see a glorification of blood, guts, and huge explosions then you will not be disappointed.

The story is ridiculous for starters.  This group of mercenaries are hired to kill a corrupt ex-CIA agent on the little island of Vilena.  But before they will accept the job they go check out the situation and meet a woman who the leader of the group (Stallone) immediately likes.  They refuse the job, too risky they say, but they end up going back anyway because Stallone wants to save the woman.  Yup, this extraordinary gala of glorified violence is just so Stallone can get the girl.  But who cares, right?  We didn’t come to watch some interesting story or anything.  We’re here to see these old guys go back to their roots and kill whoever gets in their way!

As I said earlier, Stallone plays the leader of the group, Barney Ross.  His right hand man is Lee Christmas, played by Jason Statham.  You can almost feel that legendary action star Stallone has hand-picked Statham to be the next “big action star” and take over the franchise.  Because we all know if this makes enough money to warrant a sequel, these old geezers can’t be doing this for much longer.  Sure the 64-year-old Stallone still looks like he can hold his own but he broke his neck filming a scene for this.

Men will enjoy this and women will roll their eyes, but if you go into this with low expectations you might actually enjoy yourself.  I actually laughed at a couple of scenes because of their sheer over-the-topness but at the end of the day I liked it for its cheesiness.  You know these men are cheesing it up for the fans only and they seem to be laughing at themselves at times, too.  And you gotta respect that.  Filmtastic review = 3 stars.

Letters To Juliet

Letters To Juliet (2010) – Rated PG for brief rude behavior, some language, and incidental smoking.

Going into this screening I knew that Letters To Juliet would be nothing more than the gorgeous scenery of Italy and a typical romantic comedy premise.  When I left the screening I knew that I was right.  But that doesn’t mean that this typical rom-com didn’t deliver some good laughs.  In the film we meet Sophie and Victor.  Complete opposites, they are like the yin and yang of couples.  Sophie is a fact checker for the New York Journal who dreams of being a writer.  Victor is her fiance who is a chef about to open his own restaurant.  And Sophie basically lets Victor treat her like a door mat.  That’s where we know that they aren’t going to end up married by the end of the movie.  When this young couple embarks on a “pre-honeymoon” in Italy, they spend no time together.  To Victor, this trip is a great opportunity for him to meet suppliers, visit wineries, and travel to another city for a wine auction.  And Gael Garcia Bernal plays the character to perfection.  He’s oblivious to the fact that he and Sophie shouldn’t be together and his main concern is always his restaurant.  I laughed every time he said, “It’s win-win!” when he and Sophie go off to do things independently.  And most of the laughs in the film are from scenes that Bernal is in. 

It’s on one of her independent trips that Sophie ends up at Juliet’s house where broken-hearted women write to Juliet asking for love advice (what makes Juliet a love expert?).  It is here that she finds a letter that Claire wrote over 50 years ago, starting her adventure.  Claire is played by the lovely Vanessa Redgrave, who is the shining beacon in this film.  Sophie decides to answer the letter as one of “Juliet’s secretaries” and is more than delighted to find out that Claire has decided to pursue her long-lost love.  Sophie joins Claire and her less than thrilled grandson, Charlie, on an adventure to find Lorenzo Bartolini (who is played by Redgrave’s real-life husband, Franco Nero).  Even though Charlie is completely rude, snotty, and doesn’t believe in “true love” like Sophie does, we know that they will obviously fall for each other and end up together by the end of the film. 

Amanda Seyfried does a good job as Sophie.  She’s never really impressed me, but she has also never disappointed me.  And Christopher Egan plays the cynical Englishman like, well, a cynical Englishman.  His performance wasn’t really “wow”-inducing but it was passable.  Like I mentioned before, Vanessa Redgrave was definitely the shining beacon and she was simply radiant in this film.  Though the premise was predictable and cheesy, the picturesque scenery is enough to enjoy sitting through the annoying story.  Filmtastic review = 3 stars.